Clap on, clap off!
by Dead For All Time
Summary: Hiei gets lost in a forest and asks Little Old Lady for help. He ends up upsetting her, but she helps anyways... or does she? RR! HieiKurama sweetness.


_**Clap on, clap off!**_

**_Rating_** PG

**_Genre_** Humour

**_Summery_** Hiei gets lost in a forest and asks Little Old Lady for help. He ends up upsetting her, but she helps anyways... or does she? R+R! HieiKurama sweetness.

**_Disclaimer_** I do not own Yuu Yuu Hakusho or any of the characters (damn!). However, I _do_ own Little Old Lady, and she may not be used by anyone without permission. glares at Little Old Lady thieves

I got some ideas from a Link and Luigi fic I read. No, I can't remember the name of the fic. No, I can't tell you the ideas, cuz it'll ruin my story. You will just have to read and find out for yourself. Oh, and I dedicate this fic to Mare na Var. She helped think of it during an exciting meeting of Anime Club. Thanx!

This fic has only one chapter. Live with it.

"stuff" talk

_stuff_ thought

(-)(-)(-) time lapse/scene change

(SR: stuff) Sekhmet Reborn (me!)

Hey, if you couldn't guess, SR stands for Sekhmet Reborn.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

"Hn," Hiei muttered to himself. "I think I'm lost."

He looked around the forest. It was so dense barely any light came in.

"I need to find some light."

He walked a little more and came upon a small cabin in the middle of a clearing. He knocked on the door.

"Yes?" a voice drifted out. "Who could be at my door?"

"No one you would know," Hiei replied.

"Then shoo! I have no need for strangers."

"I need a light," Hiei said to the door. It opened slowly. A little old lady stood there. She was a little shorter than him. (SR: Gasp! Someone shorter than Hiei!)

She looked him up and down. "Hmm," she hmmed. "I may be able to help you. But you must help me."

"With what?" Hiei asked, not liking this arrangement already.

"First, I would like your name."

Hiei stayed silent. Little Old Lady sighed. "Fine, Boy, have it your way. Come on in."

"Just tell me what to do."

"Learn some manners."

"Is that all?"

"Boy, learn the art of sarcasm."

"Hn. I just want to go. Tell me what to do."

"Learn some patience as well. Okay, I need help with my sewing."

Hiei raised an eyebrow. "Sewing?"

"Yes. I'm making a dress for my granddaughter and you are about her size. Just model for me." she held up some hot pink cloth. (SR: snicker _pink...)_

"Model? In pink?"

"Yes."

"No."

"You'll never get anywhere in life with that attitude, Boy."

"Too bad for me. Just give me a light and let me leave."

"You can't get something for nothing." She glared at him. "You should know that."

"Fine." Hiei matched her glare. "I'll go now." He began walking away.

"Oh, no you don't! You asked for help. Help you shall receive!"

Hiei turned just as a bolt of lightning struck him. He fell into unconsciousness.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Hiei woke up three hours later at the edge of the forest. He got up and practically ran away from it.

_Hn. I wonder what that was all about,_ he thought. _Damn. I'm late! Curse Little Old Lady._

He soon reached his destination. He climbed a tree and peered into the window. A sweet-looking redhead was at a desk doing what appeared to be homework.

Hiei tapped on the glass, startling Kurama. He opened the window. "Hey, Kitsune (1)."

Kurama walked over and planted a kiss on Hiei's lips. (SR: hee-hee... planted) "Where have you been? I've been worried."

"Places," Hiei grunted, climbing through the window and sitting on the bed.

Kurama sat next to him and wrapped his arms around the little demon. Kurama began kissing him, trailing his lips up and down Hiei's neck. Hiei slipped his hand through Kurama's hair. (SR: Awwww!)

"Oh, man, I so do _not_ need to see this!" a voice screeched from the doorway. "I just ate!"

The two lovers looked up to see Kuwabara gagging in the doorway. Yuusuke was standing next to him, laughing.

Hiei glared. "What are you two baka (2) doing here?"

"Goman-nasai (3), Hiei. I forgot I invited them over to hang out," Kurama said.

Hiei muttered another curse to Little Old Lady.

They walked down into the living room and Yuusuke grabbed the remote. He began channel surfing at an amazing speed.

"Awe, man! Nothing but commercials," he complained. "That sucks!"

Kurama settled in a soft chair with Hiei. "Yuusuke, I can't even see what is on the television. Slow down."

Kuwabara tried to take the remote, but Yuusuke pulled it away. "Urameshi, no remote hogging!"

Yuusuke stuck his tongue out at him (SR: oh, so mature) and Kuwabara began chanting "Remote hog! Remote hog!" until Hiei threw a coaster at him.

"Hey, stop it!" Kurama ordered. "Yuusuke, remote, please."

Yuusuke tossed it over and Kurama settled on a channel. It was still commercials. They sat through a Meow Mix commercial, (SR: do they have those in Japan?) two truck commercials, and a mini-infomercial on leg waxing. (SR: ow!)

Kurama stood up. "I'll go make us some snacks." He left as some guy began yammering on about some new sushi restaurant. He returned with some popcorn as The Clapper commercial came on. (SR: not sure if they have these either...)

"I hate this damn commercial," Yuusuke grumbled. Kuwabara began humming it and Yuusuke threw popcorn at him. Kuwabara clapped and as the light on the t.v. turned on, Hiei's hair began glowing brightly. Everyone stared at him. At least they tried. His hair was _very_ bright.

"What... the hell...?" Yuusuke stuttered, utterly shocked.

Kuwabara was the first to start laughing. When Hiei's hair turned off with the light on the t.v., Kuwabara laughed harder. He began clapping fiercely at Hiei's head. His hair blinked on and off.

Kurama pulled Hiei close to him to prevent him from killing Kuwabara. (SR: That would be fun, though...)

"Stop that, Kuwabara," Kurama said, barely suppressing a laugh. "That isn't nice!"

"You're right," Kuwabara agreed. "It's hilarious!"

Hiei lunged at him. Kurama was barely able to hold him. Hiei did manage to kick Kuwabara's hands away. He wiggled away from Kurama and stormed out, his hair shining brightly.

Yuusuke snickered. "That was entertaining. Since when could Hiei do that?"

"I have no idea," Kurama replied as he ran after Hiei. He caught up and clapped Hiei's hair off and hugged him close. "Hiei?"

"..."

"Hiei, what was that all about?"

"I don't know." He looked into Kurama's eyes. "You laughed, too, Kitsune."

"Sorry," Kurama kissed him. "It was very fun...nexpected. Did you know your hair did that?"

Hiei shook his head.

"Hiei, what happened?"

Hiei was about to shrug when it hit him like a brick wall. Little Old Lady was actually Little Old _Witch_ Lady!

"Kitsune, I know what happened." He quickly explained what happened in the forest, excluding the hot pink dress. "...so I think she cursed me."

"Well, lets go get you _uncursed!"_ Kurama said, dragging Hiei from the room. As they passed the living room, Kuwabara spotted them and clapped Hiei's hair on. Kurama clapped it off and they went outside. Kuwabara and Yuusuke followed, Kuwabara happily clapping like the baka he was. Hiei tried to ignore it, but failed. Turning around, Hiei punched Kuwabara as hard as he could. Kuwabara collapsed on the sidewalk, his nose bleeding profusely. Hiei gave him a death glare. "Yuusuke, get this baka home. Come on, Kitsune."

Yuusuke began roughly dragging Kuwabara's unconscious body away. Hiei and Kurama began walking towards the forest.

Kurama slipped his hand into Hiei's. "That was pretty funexpected, too."

Hiei smirked. "I've wanted to do that for a long time."

When they reached the forest, Hiei stopped and clapped. He cursed softly as his hair stayed dark.

"Hiei, what are you doing?" Kurama asked.

"Hn, I guess I can't light it myself," he muttered. "Kitsune, would you mind turning it on for me? The forest is really dark." (SR: Gasp! Gasp! Die of shock! Hiei is being polite!)

Kurama clapped and the forest lit up. They walked in.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Little Old Witch Lady was making dinner for her granddaughter, Little Witch Kid, when out of the corner of her eye, she saw a light. Grinning, she saw Boy walking with Unknown Person.

"So he discovered my curse, did he?" she murmured. "Boy is smarter than he looks."

"Little Old Witch Grandmama," Little Witch Kid said, "are you gonna help him?"

"Of course, Little Witch Granddaughter," she replied. "Provided he does what I say." She opened the door when Unknown Person knocked.

"Well, well, well," Little Old Witch Lady smirked and clapped. Boy's hair went dark. "So you figured it out, boy. And who is this pretty, young person?"

Boy frowned. Pretty, Young Unknown Person smiled and replied, "I am Kurama. And this is Hiei, not Boy."

"Well, aren't you polite? I am Little Old Witch Lady and this is my Little Witch Granddaughter, Little Witch Kid."

Hiei looked at the little girl. She was his height with blond pigtails down to her waist and large brown eyes. She had on a hot pink dress.

"Well," Kurama started. "I was hoping-"

"That I could remove his curse?" Little Old Witch Lady finished. "Fine." She turned to Hiei. "You owe me two favors, then."

Hiei turned away. "No. Come on, Kurama."

Kurama pulled him back and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Now, Hiei, I'm here to help you. Do you really want Kuwabara following you around for the rest of your life clapping at your head?" Hiei shook his head. "Then, stay." Turning to Little Old Witch Lady, he said, "I'll do the two favors for him."

Little Old Witch Lady looked at them with a raised eyebrow. "Is he your boyfriend?" she asked Kurama. Kurama nodded, blushing slightly. (SR: Oh, squee!)

"How nice!" Little Witch Kid squealed. She turned to Hiei. "Boy, you sure do have a pretty girlfriend!" (SR: I love this kid. Future fangirl!)

"Um..." Hiei gave the blond an odd look.

Little Old Witch Lady quickly turned a laugh into a cough. "Ah-hem. Anyway, I agree. Kurama, you may do the two favors."

Kurama nodded. "Domo arigato gozaimasu (4)."

"First, you must teach this boy some manners," Little Old Witch Lady instructed, "because that is what got him into this mess in the first place." She eyed Hiei carefully. "Secondly, you must promise to love him forever, since he is a nice boy and deserves it."

"No problem!" Kurama said, trapping Hiei in a hug.

"Very well," she said, nodding and suppressing a smile. "I shall remove the curse."

She lifted her hands and lightning struck Hiei. Once again, Hiei fell into unconsciousness.

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

Two hours later, Hiei awoke in Kurama's bed. He sat up, his head spinning. Kurama had fallen asleep at his desk. When Hiei walked over, he saw, not homework, but _Hiei_ written all over a piece of paper with hearts around the border. (SR: Yes, it's kind of girly puppy love-ish, but it's _my_ fic, so piss off! ... No, I was joking! Please stay and finish reading!)

Hiei leaned down and kissed Kurama softly on the cheek. Kurama jumped slightly and lifted his head. The _Hiei_ paper stuck to his face. Kurama pulled it off, blushing.

"Hey, Kitsune, did it work?" Hiei asked.

Kurama clapped. Hiei's hair stayed dark.

Hiei pressed his lips against Kurama's. "You better keep your promise."

"If you keep the same promise," Kurama said. He led Hiei over to the bed and they laid down in each other's arms.

"I wouldn't even think of breaking it," Hiei said.

"I love you, Hiei."

"Love you, too, my Kitsune."

(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)(-)

(1) _kitsune-_ fox (SR: If you don't know this word, you are not a true fan)

(2) _baka-_ dummy, idiot, stupid. The reason I did not pluralize it is because there is no plural and singular in the Japanese language. And you thought you couldn't learn anything from fics...

(3) _goman-nasai-_ I'm sorry

(4) _domo arigato gozaimasu-_ thank you very much. (SR: This was a pain in the you-  
know-what to memorize.)

That was fun to write! I like Little Old Witch Lady. Though typing her name got to be a pain in the arse.

Sorry I stopped before the lemony goodness. Yes, a lemon is what happens next. No, I'll not write it. Use you're imagination, I'm too tired right now. Also, I wrote this in ninth grade. I'm now in twelfth. The inspiration for Yuu Yuu Hakusho is gone and replaced by other animes. It just took me a really long time to type it up. Think a word a week. Also, I kind of lost it. And I wanted it to be just a comedy with snatches of sweet shounen-ai. No heavy stuff. Read _The Apparation Test_ for that. Okay, now I'm just babbling...

I've written it, now you review it. Thanx! Remember, flames are hurtful and constructive criticism is annoying and pointless! Domo arigato gozaimasu!

Oyasuminasai! (SR: oyasuminasai- good night)


End file.
